By Jenel Hunt
Ballandean woman Claire McKenzie, who lost both her legs and had one arm nearly ripped off in a horrific tractor accident on her property five months ago, is home from hospital at last and determined to live her best life from now on.
From the comfort of familiar surroundings, she has reflected on those first moments after the accident … and the life she now faces.
“In the beginning, I wanted to die. I did. I saw the damage to my legs and I knew they wouldn’t be able to be saved. I knew the life I would be living if I survived. The pain was high. There was this huge realisation that turned to shock and it’s hard to explain, but now – five months later – I’m grateful to be alive and I want to prove myself to me. I want to get on with my new life, my next life.”
And that’s why she signed herself out of PA Rehab, across the road from the Princess Alexandra Hospital where she lived in the months following the accident.
“They didn’t want me to go. They thought I needed a couple more weeks but in true Claire style, I said, ‘No, I’m going home.’ So they said they’d keep my bed open for me for a couple of days just in case.
“But I hadn’t pressed the buzzer for three weeks and I was flying along the corridors – that’s for fitness; you’ve got to go as fast as you can – and I felt independent enough to come home.“
Someone has loaned her a wheelchair while she waits for her scripted motorised and a manual wheelchairs that she is accessing through NDIS. (They’ve been fantastic, by the way.) Her son and daughter-in-law came up from Victoria to help her transition and she didn’t go home to an empty house. A friend from Armidale, Steve Hopkins, has been staying on the property and looking after the animals while Claire has been healing from her dreadful injuries.
“Steve has dropped his life to do this for me – to look after the animals. I will be forever grateful,” she said.
Ahh, the animals. Two dogs, a cat, ducks, chickens and two steers.
“Steve wanted to bring the dogs to see me in Brisbane but I said, no, I’d just be heartbroken to have to say goodbye again,” she said.
So they haven’t had to be rehomed but have been in a holding pattern of their own, waiting for Claire to return and take up her life.
It will be a different life, but the one thing she is most grateful about is that the medicos managed to save her left arm.
“I’ve had reconstructive surgery and a huge amount of physio. I’m still working on it. I’ll be working on it for a long time. I don’t have full flexibility in my arm – I would say 70 per cent for the arm and 80 per cent in my fingers and there’s hard work ahead to get it back to almost normal. But I’m incredibly grateful that they saved the arm, and I’ve let them know that.
“I find it hard to believe how much it’s working. I can eat with a fork and even make a fist. I can scratch my forehead with my thumb. The elbow doesn’t have the right amount of bend but it hasn’t lost much muscle mass and the manual chair helps me strengthen it.
“It was my left arm that was damaged and I am right handed. I am very, very lucky.“
Claire said she had a few plans mapped out for coping with her ’next life’ back on her 127 acres, most of which looked after itself.
“At some stage I’ll have a gardener once a week or fortnight because I can’t do that any more. I’ve had offers of slashing for the paddocks and helping move things. I’m going to use the zero-turn mower because it only uses hand controls. I can do the tracks close to the house until I get a bit of confidence. Lots of people have told me to let them know if I need a hand. I’m not the type to ask for help, but I’m going to. I’ll have a back-up carer too.
“The community has been very supportive and there are a few people who have had injuries in the past who have connected with me and I’ll be meeting them very soon. I honestly think the community is awesome. Everyone is so kind.“
Eventually there will be renovations to the top level of the house, including the bathroom and some kind of lift, but in the meantime the lower level will suffice.
“I’m not going to sit around and wait for life to come to me but I definitely feel a bit different. I don’t know that I can describe how I feel different; I just seem to have more clarity. These days I refuse to watch mainstream media because I don’t like watching the horrible news and disasters. I’ve been disappointed in the media on a personal level as well. A TV station hounded my family and they also took my story and put it on Facebook. I’ve had The Courier-Mail on my back as well. It’s all too much. But I wanted to tell the Today paper because this is my community and I trust you to have some empathy.
“This is my journey and it has had a lot of pain and changes and shock. I’ve been scared, I’ve been confused, in a lot of pain – the kind of pain I never imagined I’d ever feel. That journey was a nightmare. I’ve been in a coma, and not understanding what was going on. It was very scary. Anything in the future that’s not as bad as that? I accept the challenge! I decided that I could be miserable or I could be a powerful woman in a chair and embrace this.
“For a while I’ll be getting used to the environment, what I can and can’t do in the chair. But nothing will ever appear so challenging again. I went to hell and back. And now I’m going to make the most of my life.“
Reflecting on her actual homecoming, Claire said she had been overwhelmed as she entered the front gate.
“I think it was the realisation of actually being home – my emotions caught me by surprise and I broke down crying,” she said
She’d thought she’d simply be happy but the brew of emotions bubbling up made her homecoming anything but simple.
One thing was very easy, though: the reunion with her beloved pets.
“After my tears, I was quietly happy with anticipation. I knew that Steve had made the house wheelchair friendly but it took a while to fully register the changes,” she said.
“After I settled, I got on my bed and put my arm back in the splint that I wore for a couple of months. Steve picked up the dogs from a friend’s place and he let them find me.
“Red dog was first to jump up, followed by Sam. It was intense. We were all over each other for the first five minutes. I’m so lucky to have two amazing dogs.
“They sleep on my bed now.”
Claire said she had been ecstatic to see her chickens, ducks, cat plus a couple of other pets.
“I’m happy to be here, but I’m not coping yet. I’m so frustrated with not being able to do the things that I used to.”
Reality is not the same as anticipation, but Claire will work through her emotions and what is facing her the same way she has done with every other occurrence in her life.
A shaky start is still, after all, a start.
