By Angela Norval
Real Men Rally founder Sean Gordon OAM has seen the best and the worst of men (and women) over his years in education, in corporate, rescue, family and in business.
Sean considers himself lucky to have had a father that he respected so much.
“Dad was a regular bloke, great at sport, loved a beer, worked hard to provide for our family and he absolutely adored my mother and my siblings,” Sean said.
“One of my mother’s greatest threats when I was a kid was ‘just wait until your father gets home’.
“Terrified and all, my strong father never once hurt me nor did her ever show any aggression to anyone in our family.
“His disappointment was enough to make me want to shape up such was my admiration for him.
“So, for me, a ‘real man’ is one who is strong but not violent, loving and caring but not weak, one who uses his talents to make the most of the opportunities out there while being fair in business and in life, one who is always looking to better himself by being open to new ways, and one who makes enough to sustain the lifestyle he lives with sufficient reserves to help others in a charitable way with his time, his talent or his treasure.”
As a husband and father to girls, Sean had himself become disturbed with how women were feeling as members of our community at this point in history.
Watching the women’s protests about domestic violence around our country, Sean wondered what men were doing to change the narrative out there.
Not content to simply sit back and wait for something to happen, Sean organised a first of its kind event on Sunday 16 June in Redcliffe – The Real Men Rally, which was a movement to mobilise men and community members to stand against domestic and family violence.
Asked what was involved in making the rally a reality, Sean answered honestly – loads of hard work with some amazing people and included a 90-minute run sheet that was a series of vignettes to pique curiosity, create awareness, inspire and educate those present.
“It mattered to me that people left feeling hopeful not in despair and that we provided some avenues to support whatever they needed or wanted to do next.
“From idea to event involved only a six-week runway, which was daunting as I had no committee, no budget, no venue and while it became frenetic, just a few organisers can move quickly.
“After discussions with my wife, Jo-Anne about another charity type initiative she was 100 per cent supportive, I wanted to test the idea on our mayor of the City of Moreton Bay, Peter Flannery who was also 100 per cent on board from the outset.
“Next was the purchase of a domain name then a call to a client who manages my website, Karen Ahl at Web-Sta to see about setting up a simple landing page and given that Karen loved the idea and wanted to help immediately and subsequently funded the development of the site and became my co-organiser.
“Karen also designed the logo, tag line and sourced the wording for the Pledge I wanted to have people signing.
“Karen introduced Jacque Lachmund from the Workplace Respect and the Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Council, Amy Rastall who shared her own lived experiences and Grace Alexandra (Music) and a number of others who will be part of the ongoing education/support scaffolding we offer via our resources page.
“Seriously, Karen is a generous and talented person who really was co-organiser in every sense.”
Using the kayo stadium for the event and staff from the Dolphins as a wonderfully supportive community minded crew, through the rally, Sean wanted to shine a light on the myriad aspects that are domestic violence and use that to build greater awareness as opposed to blame.
“We were exploring connections with a variety of speakers when Jacque Lachmund was introduced and her personal story, current profession and membership on the Workplace Respect and the Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Council added energy and more connections to speakers including Jet Xavier known as JX The High-Performance Guy and Dave Kramer from Small Steps 4 Hannah and Qld Police Commissioner Steve Gollschewski with some sobering statistics on domestic violence in Queensland.
“I have to admit that it was wonderful to have the support of my daughter Josie Gordon to help me with my “take” on things through a young woman’s eyes and two female leaders at the Redcliffe Chamber of Commerce were also very supportive and along with Jo-Anne, Josie and Karen, helped me avoid most “mansplaining” errors that might have been.
“As word spread about the idea the support from those we met was usually immediate and generous and on the day itself we had loads of volunteers and a barbecue was put on by the Members of the North Lakes and Redcliffe Lions Club.
“Coming away from the rally, I held the insights I gained through the presentations of others that underscored just how much ignorance is at play in this domain.
“I spoke on this topic ignorance and said that education is its only cure, then I discovered the ignorance I too had about the depth and complexity of the domestic and family violence situation.”
For Sean in his everyday life, he coaches on mindset and a central tenet revolves around the paradigm lens on life, meaning we each have as a result of the upbringing we have in our “little life” and the reality that even though people and organisations who care for and likely love us, it doesn’t make their example right or best for them or their community.
“If you grow up in a family where respect is not a value it will be near certain that you will also hold a similar belief.
“As a friend here, Ryan Elson, shared this powerful observation, ‘Gordo, mate, it’s hard to be a good bloke if you’ve never seen one’.
“In my coaching scene I say that awareness is required before the creative process of change can even begin.
“With awareness it then becomes a choice to continue on the path or to change direction and adopt different belief and, as a corollary, different behaviours.
“Changing a value or long held behaviour takes some energy and genuine desire and for many will see them regressing to their old ways if the changes are not embedded over time.
“Education is different to schooling. Schooling teaches us stuff and we get to know things and can pass tests.
“Education adds learning about who we are, why we feel the way we feel, why we do what do, and the difference between what is right and what is wrong along with behaviour that mirrors that.”
Concluding the rally with a heartfelt call for everyone to sign the pledge to end domestic violence and foster a culture of respect and empathy. Sean has also gone on to address the Queensland Local Government Association of Queensland network and 10 of these cities/regions have already asked to find out how this rally model might be leveraged for duplication elsewhere.
As Sean continues to work to share this message of respect and work on continuing with education that makes a real impact, he wants young men to remember one thing.
“That a real man treats himself and others with respect and knows that he can get just about anything he wants by helping enough other people get what they want.
“That having a purpose and a dream for the future is critical while developing a sense of gratitude will make them happy in each of the here and now days, they are lucky enough to be gifted with.”
For more information in regards to the Real Man Rally or to sign the Real Men Pledge, visit the website at realmenrally.org
