1. Don’t buy into the excuse that sexual or domestic violence is due to mental health, drug or alcohol dependency, unmanaged stress or anger.
People make a choice when they use violence.
Healthy relationships are based on communication and mutual respect. Whilst external pressure can be a contributing factor, this should not be used to excuse
domestic violence.
Unfortunately, we live in a culture that still stigmatises people who have suffered domestic violence, that still asks what victims did to provoke a perpetrator, or why they failed to leave.
Perpetrators need to be held accountable for their decision to use violence and for the suffering that they cause.
2. Call it out when you see inappropriate behaviour.
The best time to ‘start the conversation’ is when people are engaging in harmful behaviour that contributes to gender inequality.
When you hear sexist jokes or victim blaming, say something. Sometimes people don’t even realise that their words can have consequences and influence how we view violence against women.
Being a proactive bystander means educating ourselves and discussing with friends about what degrading or harmful language and behaviour about women sounds like.
QR Code: Can do download the free Be There Bystander App – bethereapp.com.au/
3. Challenge traditional images of masculinity that keep you and others from taking a stand.
Throughout our lives, we receive messages from family, media, and society about how men should act and behave.
Some of these gender stereotypes can reinforce unequal power dynamics by excusing problematic beliefs and attitudes.
Traditional ideas about masculinity in Australia have also contributed to high rates of male suicide, depression and anxiety as well as violence against women
To prevent violence in our homes and relationships, we need to recognise and challenge the common ways we excuse or minimise disrespectful and aggressive
behaviour.
4. If you suspect abuse, ask how you can help.
It can be very difficult for individuals who experience or use violence to speak out and seek help.
Let the other person know that you are a supportive, non-judgemental friend they can turn to whenever they need. You don’t need to be a counsellor, but help is always available.
Support pathways include 1800RESPECT (1800 732 732) and No to Violence 1300 766 491.
5. Teach your children that no means no, and stop means stop.
Consent is necessary for every sexual contact, even if the partners have had sex before. Respect and good communication are the best strategies to ensure that
sexual relations are consensual and enjoyable for both partners.
Consent is part of a set of skills you can learn to have healthy sexual relationships based on trust, empathy, communication, equality, safety, and respect.
Learn about consent and promote healthy sexuality with the young people in your life.
QR Code: You can find out more at www.consent.gov.au/
6. Educate yourself on the drivers, statistics and messaging that will contribute to ending domestic, family and sexual violence.
Social acceptance of poor behaviour gives men permission to treat women as unequal and makes it harder for men to be vulnerable with their partners, wives, and female friends.
Whilst extensive research shows that men overwhelmingly perpetrate domestic and family violence, we are not here to call men out, but to call everyone in.
Men and boys are an important part of our families, our communities, and our solutions to this issue. Men and boys are also critical to preventing all forms of
violence against women and children.
QR Code: Educate yourself at ourwatch.org.au/quick-facts
7. Start a discussion in your workplace
Domestic, family and sexual violence is a workplace issue too.
In workplaces characterised by respect and safety, victims can receive support and validation, and perpetrators are held accountable.
You can take meaningful action to create a safe and supportive environment for your colleagues – whether you are an individual, an executive manager, business leader or CEO, you can advocate for and champion respect in the workplace.
QR Code: Access a range of valuable resources through respectatwork.gov.au/
8. Be a role model and use your own words and actions to respect women.
It starts with you, and it stays with him. If we want young men to live happy and fulfilled lives and be caring and respectful in relationships, they need role models who show them that being a good man is really just about being a good person.
Being a good role model means being aware of, and accountable for, our own attitudes and behaviours, and open to changing them based on the feedback we get from others in our lives.
Reinforce what you teach at home by taking an active interest in the things influencing the way your children are thinking and acting
QR Code: Build a better future for our young people, free from disrespect respect.gov.au/generation-respect
9. Take a walk and talk with your mates.
The mental health benefits of regular physical activity are well known, as is creating space for men to connect and support each other.
Walking side by side offers a safe space for men to open up about how they really feel, which can be difficult to do in a group setting.
Think about how you might be able to encourage your mates to take a walk that will build stronger connections and create an environment where you can both share your life challenges.
Checking in with a mate is a simple yet powerful way you can bring up concerns you might have or to gently encourage help seeking.
10. Reflect on your own attitudes and actions and how they contribute to devaluing or objectifying women.
Disrespect starts with what we see, the stories we hear and what we learn from adults when we are young.
Without realising it, we can sometimes say and do things that make young people think disrespectful behaviours are acceptable.
If we stay silent when we see or hear someone being disrespectful, we contribute to a culture where it’s okay to look away, deny the problem or make excuses for bad behaviour.
Set the standard for what is acceptable by speaking up when you hear language that belittles or degrades women, especially when women aren’t present.
* Prepared by the Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Council.
